Top 25 Funny Rap Songs
Life is far too serious these days. We're on a mission to bring back the joy and laughter! It was extremely difficult to pick just 25 funny rap songs, but we believe that these songs exemplify the very best of humor in hip hop. Let's walk down memory lane and relive some of the moments that made us smile.
1. Crazy Rap - Afroman
This song tops my list because of the way it draws nightclub customers out of their seats and brings them to the DJ booth. Their questions are always the same. "Who sings this masterpiece? How come I've never heard it?" The truth is, "Crazy Rap" never got much radio play because of the extra filthy lyrics, but it is intensely familiar to those who purchased Afroman's blockbuster album, Because I Got High back in the year 2000. I like to think of it as the cult classic that everybody and nobody knows. If I could play just one funny song for the rest of my life, it would be this silly track about the unique sexual charms of women from different states. Just as the Beach Boys used "California Girls" to highlight the unique qualities of women from different U.S. regions, Afroman uses "Crazy Rap" to deliver an extra nasty review of women across America.
2. Humpty Dance - Digital Underground
Released in 1990, The Humpty Dance is a clever classic that appeals to multiple generations. Even without the silly video featuring Shock G's cheap prosthetic nose, the song conjures vivid images of an ugly emcee who is so funny and charismatic that the ladies don't care about his physical limitations. He may dance like an epileptic and look like M.C. Hammer on crack, but he has no trouble getting laid in a Burger King bathroom. The brilliant ending of this song encourages blacks, whites, Puerto Ricans and Samoans to dance like fools and "get stoopid" together. It's no wonder the song is universally loved around the world.
3. Just a Friend - Biz Markie
The most brilliant thing about this song is the narrator's unprofessional singing voice, proving that vocal ability isn't necessary when you have a funny story to tell. The song is immensely appealing to any jilted lover who has been displaced by a so-called friend. From the most luxurious wedding venues in Bloomfield Hills to the seediest clubs in the heart of Cass Corridor, this song is a crowd pleaser that appeals to all ages and ethnic groups. It's also the very best rap song to play when you want to encourage bar customers to sing in their seats. Karaoke customers appreciate the opportunity to do a song that's not vocally challenging, and audience members enjoy mimicking Biz Markie's crackling voice.
4. Paul Revere - The Beastie Boys
Like love at first sight, I can still remember the exact moment in 1986 when I heard this song while cruising the Detroit area with friends. As a wayward teenager who was about to be in trouble for staying out past midnight, I could relate to the image of two outlaw emcees fighting over a quart of beer in the dessert. The song follows the narrators to a western style saloon where they proceed to rob the place at gunpoint. One of the most infamous lines in rap music occurs when Ad-Rock explains why he's running from the law in the first place: "The Sheriff's after me for what I did to his daughter. I did like this, I did it like that, I did it with a wiffle ball bat." More so that any other rap song in history, I enjoyed memorizing "Paul Revere" and reciting it over and over again.
5. Baby Got Back - Sir Mix-a-Lot
Yes, it's overplayed. Yes, many nightclub customers are tired of hearing it, but there's always someone in the mix who will beg me to bust out the Sir Mix-a-lot after midnight. More than two decades after its original release, "Baby Got Back" still holds the power to drive chicks of all sizes to the dance floor. Better yet, the song leads large numbers of women to participate in various ass maneuvers from twerking to general shaking and rampant smacking. That alone is a good enough reason to put "Baby Got Back" in my top ten. Above all, this game changing song encouraged thick women from all walks of life to stop being ashamed of their larger than normal assets. In fact, this song may be wholly responsible for fueling the multi-million dollar butt implant industry. Best Line: "My anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hon!"
6. Bust A Move - Young M.C.
This witty and supremely danceable song by British-American rapper Young MC has been featured in countless television programs and films, making it crucial to hip hop's mainstream acceptance. It won the 1990 Grammy Award for Best Rap Performance, proving that clean lyrics can be just as funny as nasty material. The song sheds light upon the age old plight of broke men searching for love in a world where the hottest girls can be fake, materialistic, sadistic or just plain rude. The narrator's quest for love takes him to various locations such as movie theaters, weddings and beaches, where he quickly discovers that the quickest way to a woman's heart is to simply "bust a move." The song is further enhanced by catchy vocal interludes from Crystal Blake, who rarely gets enough credit for her brilliant performance.
Funny Rap Video Contest
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Think you can you be more funny than the dude we picked to do the sample video for our theme song? Give it a shot! Using our song as the soundtrack, create a video of yourself dancing, clowning or doing anything you like. (Just keep it clean enough for YouTube.) Upload your video to your Facebook page using the hashtag #funnyrapvideocontest. Whoever makes us laugh the hardest wins.
7. Without Me - Eminem
I may catch some flack for my decision to put "Without Me" above classics such as "Slim Shady," "Shake That" and "Superman," but Eminem's brilliant catalog features so many funny songs that it can be difficult to choose. I'm going with this one because of the hard driving dance beat, the trailer park girls, the multiple references to celebrities and the arrogant middle finger to the FCC. In this cheeky anthem, Eminem manages to insult Chris Kirkpatrick, Limp Bizkit, Moby, Prince and Elvis without losing his fan base. No wonder he enjoys full backing from hard hitting rap icons like Obie Trice and Dr. Dre. Although this song drives large numbers of people to the dance floor, it doesn't always appeal to older crowds. Middle aged adults tend to find it a bit childish. I disagree! "Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah..."
8. Cowboy - Kid Rock
This song gave millions of conservative Americans a little taste of what it's like to go out pimpin' Hollywood style. With references to Heidi Fleiss, drunken yachting under the stars, crotch watching and getting stoned, who could resist the urge to chill and take a listen? Saloon style piano segments add even more humor to the song, making it so much more than an average dance track.The opening lines are enough to put a smile on any wannabe baller's face: "Well I'm packing up my game and I'mma head out west where real women come equipped with scripts and fake breasts. Find a nest in the hills, chill like Flynt, buy an old drop top find a spot to pimp. And I'm a Kid Rock it up and down your block with a bottle of scotch and watch lots of crotch..." Best line: "I once was lost, but now I'm just blind."
9. Funky Cold Medina - Tone Loc
"Funky Cold Medina" is a hilarious rap song about a sexually frustrated young man who discovers a love potion so potent that it causes every female dog in the neighborhood to come after his male pooch. Upon trying the potion himself, the narrator has two frustrating experiences. First, he picks up a beautiful woman at the club, only to discover that's she's actually a man. Lesson learned? "You must be sure that the girl is pure for the Funky Cold Medina." A subsequent experiment leads him on a date to the Hilton for "Media and some dinner." The potion works so well that it causes the narrator's companion to begin planning a wedding before he can get her home to bed!
10. La-Di-Da-Di - Doug E. Fresh & Slick Rick
"La Di Da Di" has a solid reputation for being sampled and referenced by numerous hard hitting rap artists. The intro alone is enough to send multiple hands into the air at any hip hop club in the nation: "La-Di-Da-Di, we likes to party. We don't cause trouble, we don't bother nobody." Since the song's release in 1985, millions of rap enthusiasts have enjoyed hearing about the advanced grooming rituals of a "conceited bastard" who slathers himself in products such as Oil of Olay, Johnson's Baby Powder and Polo Cologne. With his gold teeth and Gucci underwear, the 19-year-old narrator proves to be too charming for his own good when a young woman won't stop crying because she can't have him. Even the older ladies with wrinkled pussies can't control the urge to claim him. The crying girl's mother is so desperate for his love that she whacks her daughter in the eye and slams her own grandchildren on the concrete.
11. Because I Got High - Afroman
Afroman earns two spots on my list of the top 25 funniest rap songs of all time. This charming song about the embarrassing experiences of a lazy stoner strikes an intimate chord with marijuana smokers around the world. The narrator can't seem to clean his room, go to class, make it to work or satisfy his woman, all because he got high. On the surface, it's a funny tale about what can happen when weed becomes a daily part of life, but behind the laughter there's a heartbreaking message: "I messed up my entire life because I got high. I lost my kids and wife because I got high. Now I'm sleeping on the sidewalk and I know why. 'Cause I got high, because I got high, because I got high."
12. Gold Digger - Kanye West
Yes, I know he's an arrogant fool, but long before Kanye West embarrassed Taylor Swift onstage at the VMAs and blasted Beck's album of the year at the Grammys, America thought he was a pretty funny guy. Admit it. "Gold Digger" was the best reason to turn on the radio in 2005, and it's still a great tune. With an intro that borrows from the Ray Charles classic "I got a woman," this song starts with a bang and becomes increasingly funny as it moves along. My favorite line: "She was supposed to buy your shorty TYCO with your money. She went to the doctor got lipo with your money." If we can forgive Eminem for insulting everyone on the planet, perhaps we can remember that Kanye does possess his fair share of talent.
13. I'm Different by 2 Chainz
This song paints the picture of a unique man who drives around with his top down and his middle finger up to the competition. A karaoke favorite when it was released in 2012, "I'm Different" is still requested by nightclub customers across the Metro Detroit area, perhaps because the charismatic narrator has many unique talents. Among other things, he can "beat a pussy like a new song" and "put a fat rabbit on a Craftmatic." Curiously, he can't seem to get along with "broke niggas," and women with big butts. When he meets a woman with a bad attitude, he gives her a bogus phone number because she has an "ass so big, I told her to look back at it. Look back at, look back at it." I don't care who you are. That shit is funny!
14. Boats 'N Hoes - Will Ferrell (Huff) and John C. Reilly (Doback)
If you're looking for the meaning of life, you won't find it here. This delightfully silly song from the movie Step Brothers sounds like it could have been written by two 13-year-old kids who are obsessed with chicks and sailing: "We sail 'round the world and go port to port, every time I cum I produce a quart. Put on your life vest, let's drop anchor, there's a nice lady whore, I'd like to swank her." Despite the childish delivery and lack of attention to political correctness, viewers can't help but love this classic by two of the most lovable dimwits ever to grace the big screen.
15. Amish Paradise - Weird Al Yankovic
This parody of Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise" has delighted audiences for generations. The opening line is enough to make just about anyone laugh: "As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain I take a look at my wife and realize she's very plain." But don't feel sorry for this technologically impaired man who spends most of his time raising barns and milking cows. When he's not on his knees "scorin' points for the afterlife," you might find him partying "like it's 1699!"
16. You Be Illin' - Run D.M.C.
17. Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
The narrator of this song has passion in his pants, and he ain't afraid to show it! Whether he's on the street or at the mall, folks can't help but stare at his animal print pants and big afro. He loves to wiggle around the beach in his Speedos, and he manages to get served in clubs, even when he arrives with no shoes or shirt.
18. Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight
Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight" represents the beginning of humor in hip-hop. Many believe it was the very first hip hop song ever written, but the subject is still the source of much debate. (Coke La Rock is known for being the first rapper to ever spit rhymes after teaming up with DJ Kool Herc in 1973 and both are recognized as the original founding fathers of Hip Hop.) The beat that plays throughout "Rapper's Delight" was taken from "Good Times" by Chic, a song well known dance song on the disco circuit. Despite the obvious borrowing of different styles and influences, "Rapper's Delight" remains a very catchy tune with classic funny lines that were later borrowed by other hard hitting comic rappers. Consider this funny line which was later sampled and by Afroman: "Have you ever went over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good." Afroman's version: "Have you ever went over a girl's house to fuck and the pussy just ain't no good."
19. Thrift Shop - Macklemore
The narrator of this song is so hip and resourceful that he can take $20 into a thrift shop and walk out looking like a million bucks. With nothing but some Gator shoes, a leopard mink coat and a big ass cock, he takes the club by storm. Even the coolest black dude can't help but notice how stunning this young white pimp really is. Behind all of the arrogance, there is the sense that the narrator doesn't take himself or anyone else seriously. You might catch him calling himself a "honky" or making fun of R. Kelley's piss soaked sheets. He's particularly fond of old fashioned looks because he knows he's fly enough to get away with them: "I wear your granddad's clothes, I look incredible. I'm in this big ass coat from that thrift shop down the road."
20. Parents Just Don't Understand - Will Smith
What can you do about a clueless Mom who buys you cheap Zips instead of Adidas and sends you to school in plaid shirts with butterfly collars? If you're 16-year-old Will Smith, you might steal her Porche and go joy riding without a license. Just be sure not to get pulled over doing ninety with a twelve-year-old runaway in the car! Best Line: "They took turns; one would beat me while the other was driving."
21. I Got One For Ya - Kid Rock
22. The Real Roxanne - UTFO
23. I'm on a Boat - The Lonely Island
24. Area Codes - Ludacris
25. Milkshake - Kelis
You've gotta love Kelis. Her charms are so pervasive that even the boys who hang around her yard have a better life than yours. "Damn, right, it's better than yours. I could teach you, but I'd have to charge..."
Wipeout - The Fat Boyz
Peter Piper - Run D.M.C.
Songs like "Tricky" may have gotten more radio play, but in my view, "Peter Piper" is the best choice for the peak of the night when energy levels are off the charts. "Peter Piper" has a hard driving beat that both younger and older audiences enjoy, and the lyrics are super cute. With the constant and quick name dropping of storybook heroes from Rip Van Winkle to Little Bo Peep, this song is technically more difficult to perform than most old school karaoke tracks, but that's part of the enduring charm. My favorite line: "Like the little old lady who lived in a shoe, if cuts were his, he would be you." BAM!
Walk this Way - Aerosmith & Run D.M.C.
In addition to catapulting the rock band Aerosmith into the mainstream in the 1970s, the song "Walk This Way" helped revitalize their career in the 1980s when it was covered by rappers Run-D.M.C. The song also helped popularize a brand new genre of music called rap rock which became a cornerstone of pop culture in the 1990s. With catchy phrases such as "Hey diddle diddle with the kitty in the middle," the song relies heavily on sexual innuendo to describe the first sexual encounters of a high school loser. The lyrics are clean enough to play at any family party but metaphorically nasty enough to evoke explicit images that will make you blush.